January 2010
126 posts
“Drugs are bad because if you do drugs you’re a hippie and hippies suck.”
– Eric Cartman, South Park
December 2009
149 posts
Ugly Betty
Marc: Little glitch. Teeny, tiny, Cindy Crawford mole-sized problem. It looks like St. Patrick's Cathedral is already booked for June 16.
Wilhelmina: What?!
Marc: What do you get from St. Patrick's? Bad incense, and a bunch of guilty men in dresses.
Wilhelmina: Fabia?! That little Euro-Wench is getting married?!
Marc: And she got Elton John to sing for the wedding. He's re-written "Candle In the Wind" just for her.
Wilhelmina: What?! He was re-writing "Candle in the Wind" for me!
Marc: Ugh, give that Queen twenty-bucks and she'll re-write it for anybody.
Wilhelmina: Get Fabia over here. Wedding Summit '07 is on!
the oc, 1x13 "the best chrismukkah ever"
Seth: How was the mall?
Ryan: Eh. Weird.
Seth: Yes, you've really painted a picture for me. I feel like I was there.
Seinfeld
Kramer: It's a write off for them.
Jerry: How is it a write off?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write off is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I Don't.
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.
Jerry: I wish I could have the last 20 seconds of my life back.
“Tell Drama he’s on the top of my list of things to do today, along with...”
– Ari Gold, Entourage
“You’re completely unaware of the effect you have on me.”
– Dan Humphrey, Gossip Girl (via quote-book) (via thewonderyears)
Greek
Casey: Hey.
Cappie: Hey Casey.
Casey: You're a good friend to Beave, Cap. I'm sorry I haven't been a very good friend to you.
Cappie: Yay, more friendly fire.
Casey: Friends are supposed to warn each other when they're making mistakes.
Cappie: Look, I understand why you dislike Rebecca. But I've seen a different side of her.
Casey: Rebecca only has one side and it's covered in scales. She's just toying with you to drive me insane.
Cappie: So seeing me with someone else is driving you insane?
Casey: No, seeing you with her is.
Cappie: You and I are done. You made that very clear last semester. So why do you care? And if you say it's because we're friends I swear I will vomit into your ridiculously small purse.
Casey: I still care about you Cap.
Cappie: Well... I care about her.
Casey: Really.
Cappie: -nods-
Casey: Is it her winning smile or is it the fact that she's the one person on Campus you knew would drive me crazy? What is it exactly you see in her?
Cappie: She likes me for me.
30 Rock
Jack: You know, if you google the phrase ‘Class A moron’, my name pops up first now? So, step aside Randy Quaid.
One Tree Hill
Skills: You said "Oh!"? Hold on. Peyton Sawyer says "I'm in love with you" and you say "Oh"? Nice work player!
Lucas: She caught me by surprise, what was I supposed to say, huh?
Skills: Not "Oh". Ok, what else did you say?
Lucas: I mumbled something about us being friends and then I left.
Skills: You believe that? That you and P. Sawyer are just friends!?
Lucas: Look, you know what Skills? For a long time I thought that maybe we'd be something more. It just never seemed to work out, you know? So, at a certan point you just gotta face the fact that it's not meant to be.
Skills: Even if she wants more?
Lucas: She's just a little confused. She's had a hard year and I happened to be there and rescue her a few times.
Skills: So maybe you're the one who's confused! Cause you didn't just happen to rescue her a few times. You didn't just happen to run into the school that day or save her from psycho-Derek. Peyton happened to be there, but you chose to be there. So, maybe you gotta think about that.
Entourage
Eric: We had breakup-sex, all right?
Johnny Drama: Breakup-sex? Never heard of it.
Eric: Yeah, I mean... you know... you have sex and... that's it - you say goodbye.
Johnny Drama: [pauses to think] That's the only kinda sex I have.
Scrubs
Turk: Before Izzy was born, if I saw a half-eaten meatball sub in the trash you better believe I would dust that bad boy off and go to town on it! But now, I'm not risking my health eating trash-food. I mean, unless it's a corn dog.
Dr. Cox: Thank god you've procreated.
“There’s a reason people can’t wait for Christmas, and it has little...”
– Desperate Housewives
“Moses and Jesus, they both have beards.”
– Seth Cohen (via sheema) (via the-oc)
“I’m not afraid of Sasquatch, I just think we should all be on alert.”
– Marshall Eriksen (via crabcakes)
“Truth is still absolute. Believe that. Even when that truth is hard and cold,...”
– One Tree Hill
Arrested Development
Gob: Remember that seal of hers that I released into the ocean? Bit off Buster’s hand?
Michael: Vaguely.
Gob: Her lawyers are claiming that the seal’s worth 250 grand. And that’s not even including Buster’s Swatch.
