As Heard on TV

A place for all your favorite TV quotes!

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Sun Dec 6
camijoan: Ben: You have to forgive yourself for everything that went down the other day.Dr. Cox: You’re so annoying. Okay.Ben: Good.Dr. Cox: Where’s your camera, aren’t you going to take some pictures?JD: Pictures of what?Dr. Cox: You know, crying babies covered in chocolate, people saying happy birthday to my son, who haven’t even met him before. You know, the whole routine.JD: Where do you think we are?

camijoan:

Ben: You have to forgive yourself for everything that went down the other day.
Dr. Cox: You’re so annoying. Okay.
Ben: Good.
Dr. Cox: Where’s your camera, aren’t you going to take some pictures?
JD: Pictures of what?
Dr. Cox: You know, crying babies covered in chocolate, people saying happy birthday to my son, who haven’t even met him before. You know, the whole routine.
JD: Where do you think we are?

booyagrandma: sheema: “Oh, my God. I have never seen that look in a man’s eyes… ever. I thought that I might die. On beach day.”- Jim Halpert, Beach Games, The Office

booyagrandma:

sheema:

“Oh, my God. I have never seen that look in a man’s eyes… ever. I thought that I might die. On beach day.”- Jim Halpert, Beach Games, The Office

Sat Dec 5

30 Rock

Lutz: What about my Dancing with the Hobos sketch?

Liz: I didn’t like it two weeks ago when it was called America’s Next Top Hobo, and I didn’t like it a month ago when it was called Hobo Eye for the Straight Guy.

Lutz: Deal or No Hobo?

Liz: Hey, Lutz, why don’t you approach your job with the same creativity and excitement you have for all you can eat buffets?

fuckyeahmindy: falulatonks: theofficeohword: calikalie: Michael: I just, I met a woman when I was giving blood and I thought she might come by. Kelly: You met a woman when you were giving blood? That is so romantic. Michael It’s not a big deal really, I just, you know, met somebody, we hardly talked, I picked up her glove so I was hoping I could give it back to her. Kelly: Oh my god, that makes it even more romantic. This is like a modern day Enchanted, it’s like a fairy tale. The Office, 5x16 Blood Drive

fuckyeahmindy: falulatonks: theofficeohword: calikalie:

Michael: I just, I met a woman when I was giving blood and I thought she might come by.
Kelly: You met a woman when you were giving blood? That is so romantic.
Michael It’s not a big deal really, I just, you know, met somebody, we hardly talked, I picked up her glove so I was hoping I could give it back to her.
Kelly: Oh my god, that makes it even more romantic. This is like a modern day Enchanted, it’s like a fairy tale.

The Office, 5x16 Blood Drive

30 Rock, 4.07: "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"

  • Angie: Have you lost your mind? I'm not gonna raise another child by myself.
  • Tracy: What are you implying? I'm a very attentive father!
  • Angie: Oh please, Tracy. Where were you last week during Tracy Jr.'s birthday party?
  • Tracy: There was a better kid's birthday party up the street!
  • Angie: I cannot believe you made me come here for this. Now I won't have enough time to shop for Christmas presents and still get my hair did!
  • Tracy: Your hair did?! You just got your hair did! You have to get your hair did again??
  • Angie: It needs to be did every week!!
  • Liz: Maybe we could undid these handcuffs.
  • Angie: Oh, cracka!
  • Tracy: Racist!
pleasedo: fuckyeahpaulmccartney: fuckyeahstephencolbert: syoban: COLBERT: People don’t give you the credit for your rock voice. You can really belt out a scream. PAUL: Raagh! COLBERT: RaaaaaGH! PAUL: RAAAAAAAGH COLBERT: You are cute.

pleasedo: fuckyeahpaulmccartney: fuckyeahstephencolbert: syoban:

COLBERT: People don’t give you the credit for your rock voice. You can really belt out a scream.

PAUL: Raagh!

COLBERT: RaaaaaGH!

PAUL: RAAAAAAAGH

COLBERT: You are cute.

Fri Dec 4

Parks & Recreations

Leslie: I don’t get men!  If they’re not wagering their girlfriends in pool, then they’re trying to steal each other’s wives.  It makes you question the whole notion of those bro-mance movies.

Community

Annie: You know what? I don’t WANT to express myself.  I don’t want to sit in a room full of people and say … the ‘p’ word.  I like being repressed!  I am totally comfortable being uncomfortable with my sexuality!  And maybe, just maybe, if everyone were a little bit more like me, we wouldn’t have to have an STD Fair … And by the way, now that I’ve got a good look at one, I don’t see what all the fuss was about.  A giant thumb in a turtleneck!  Whoop-de-doo!

“ Abraham Lincoln once said that ‘If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North,’ and those are the principles I carry with me in the workplace. _Michael Scott (via likeadoll) (via fizzzzy) (via toocutebyhalf) (via brightlywound)
Ryan: So, listen, I know about your diabolical plan. Dwight: What? Diabolical plan? I wouldn’t even know how to begin a di— Ryan: I found a copy of it in the copier tray.

Ryan: So, listen, I know about your diabolical plan.

Dwight: What? Diabolical plan? I wouldn’t even know how to begin a di—

Ryan: I found a copy of it in the copier tray.